An awkward epic

Social awkwardness. Awkward society.

Which one of the two would it be for me? Or could it be a totally new disorder stemming from the quality of people in my workplace? Even worse, could it be a disorder tracing its roots to the way I am?

The way I am- now that's a famous song. Not the bling pop famous, rather the kind of famous that not many people know about. Anyway, the thing is that the way you are is what you are. And if in that condition you aren't accepted in the social order of things, its pretty lame for you. You sit there feeling pretty alienated, without a strand of support to do things, to make things happen, to live a fulfilling life resplendent with golden days. 

What you instead get is days of solitude, nights of studies which yield no fruit because you feel pretty despondent. You get evenings trying to find a place to fit in, a group where you and your ideas can truly belong just the way you are. If that wasn't enough you wake up every morning to lie in bed and wonder what in the blazes of this world are you doing that day and in life- every single morning. Sometimes when its really bad you find no one to catch a movie with, sometimes there isn't anyone in sight to go to a mall with. When its really good you feel elated when someone responds back to you when you say hi or ask hey whatsup.

Question. Any solution to this problem? After all a problem is pointless without any solution. The bigger problem with this problem is that its solution has escaped me for the last 4 months. I feel more capable proposing a contract or marriage in either order.

Question. Is it worth not being the way I am? Not at all. Play on player. This life will bend. Everything does.

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